Breaking Nostalgia's Lifestyle Guide Let's Talk About the Author We Fuck With: JhunM |
The Rehab Chronicles
Friday, December 10
 Chapter 1: Me and my friends don’t go to parties. We go to rehab. It was one of those fucked up days, you know, where the sun only comes up to humiliate you. It was the day I went to rehab. I had to share my room with 2 girls, who I realized were even more brain dead than me. Amy Winehouse and Lindsay Lohan. Amy got here, after drinking 69 bottles of Vodka, running down the street naked screaming “IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?”. Jenny Schecter style. Lindsay got here, after taking Magic Mushrooms, which made her gone completely mad. She has invented an imaginary girlfriend called Sam Ronson. Me? Well, after taking LSD I have beaten up Shakira, for making a disastrous cover of the xx’s song “Islands”. This bitch needed to pay for that. After almost killing this woman, I realized it was my mom. Shit happens. To be continued… Labels: rehab chronicles |